Renee Valdespino

My mother, Renee Valdespino, celebrated her 83rd birthday in January, 2011. On April 5th, she passed away peacefully. She was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis four years earlier, yet although she had told my father, my sister and myself of her diagnosis, she did not dwell on her illness and chose to live her life as best as possible. After working in the airline business both in Cuba (our beloved native country which our family fled 50 years ago) and in Miami for over 40 years, my mother dedicated her senior years to doing the things she loved the most, including spending time with family, getting together with friends, exercising and lunching with her senior girlfriends, shopping, going to church, gourmet cooking, and listening to classical music. My parents enjoyed traveling for many years but in their golden years they enjoyed entertaining friends and family at home most of all.

My mother was a very courageous woman, for she herself planned her final years to make sure that my father, who is 84, would not have to endure the hardships of all the decisions that would come with a terminally ill spouse. She single-handedly chose her own cemetery plot and she would frequently explain to us how to best help my father with his daily routines after she is gone. Incredibly however, she knew that her illness had no cure, yet never talked about it much or allowed herself to dwell on the inevitable end. During the first three years, my mother had few symptoms of pulmonary fibrosis, but in her final year the illness began to progress, and she started to lose her energy to the point where she was forced to give up many of her favorite activities, had a disturbing cough 24/7, became dependent on a walker (she didn't like using a wheelchair!) and ultimately and very rapidly, experienced shortness of breath. The most beautiful and selfless part of my mother's last year is that she devoted the final four months of her life to taking care of her 91 year old sister, whom she adored and despite her own illness continued to visit every day at the assisted living facility where my aunt ultimately passed away just five days before my mother passed away herself (neither knew of the other's passing).

On March 24th, my father and I called 911 when my mother was suddenly unable to breathe and became very weak. Doctors discovered a raging infection that would not respond to any antibiotics, and after a bronchoscopy and consultation with an infectious disease specialist at the hospital, it was determined that, among other infections, she had contracted the fatal fungus Aspergillis; a fungus that primarily attacks patients with compromised lungs. For the next week, Mami was in ICU, unable to breathe on her own and becoming weaker and weaker by the hour. At this point, one can only ask God for a peaceful passing. Our family feels blessed that although painful for the rest of us, our mother passed away in eleven short days and her suffering indeed ended peacefully; my sister and I were at her side the entire eleven days, with the assistance of the most professional, sensitive and compassionate nurses we have ever encountered. She never complained in the hospital, she smiled at friends and family who visited her and even worried about the suffering of everyone else who was saddened by her quick decline. Through it all, in her heart she knew that it was the end, yet she never wanted to frighten any of us, especially my father. Two weeks after her passing, my parents would have celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary. Pulmonary fibrosis is a horrible disease. Hopefully, a cure will be found someday. Love you and miss you, Mami.